Christmas

'Twas my first ever Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

So I cooed and I coughed and my cry I did blare,

In hopes that my parents soon would be there;

No longer nestled all snug in their beds,

My parents were holding their poor throbbing heads;

So my screams I abated to lighten the mood,

Once Mom and Dad arrived to check on their dude;

As I lifted my head, the laughter caused such a clatter,

I looked in the mirror to see what was the matter,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a foof the size of Mt. Rainier;

"What a Christmas disaster," I grumbled and moaned,

Then hastened to search through some things that I owned;

"This ribbon is perfect," I chortled and clacked,

"From my extral large foof it will surely detract."

But detract it did not, the ribbon had to go,

So I said good-bye to my Rambo-like bow;

Time for the big guns, the foof must meet its end,

I couldn't do it alone, so I called in my friends;

"Now! Redken, now! Pantene, now! Suave, and Nexxus!

On! Paul Mitchell, on! Dep, on! Dove, and Tres Flores!

Fix my hair quickly, make speed and make haste,

This foof cannot win, I will not be disgraced!"

And then, in a twinkling, my friends finished their task,

I turned to my parents, their opinion to ask;

They sniggered and sneered, their faces a gawk,

Apparently amused by my trendy faux-hawk;

"Bah humbug," I snarled, "No more Christmas for me!

Clearly this holiday was not meant to be!"

Then I pouted and sulked, in the corner I sat,

When I noticed a fuzzy red Santa hat;

"If I can't tame my foof, I'll cover it instead!"

And I tugged the cap onto my rather large head;

I was jolly once again, to everyone's delight, so

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"